Feeling Alone? Here’s How to Find Strength in Solitude

What the Hermit Knows That You Might’ve Forgotten

There are 11 days left in the year, and I don’t feel like doing anything. Not writing this newsletter, not buying or wrapping gifts, not talking, not leaving the house.

A cloud of contemplation has settled over me, and I can’t seem to shake it. This year has been a rollercoaster of soaring highs and crushing lows, and I just feel the need to spend what’s left of it reflecting, resting, and lightening the load for the year ahead.

I thought about going to a coffee shop to write this newsletter, but I’m craving silence and solitude. And as I wrestled with writing about The Hermit card, I realized: I am The Hermit right now.

9 - THE HERMIT

I started this Substack because I’ve been sitting on over 100 journals—musings, rants, shards of wisdom—waiting to be shared. But lately, I feel weary, much like the Hermit himself.

The Hermit is a seeker and a sage, carrying a lantern which represents with hope and inspiration. His journey has left him tired, but his staff keeps him steady. He calls for introspection and solitude, which can be both a gift and a curse.

We need solitude to understand ourselves, and to decide how we want to show up in the world. But too much self-reflection can distort our perception of ourselves and others.

Observe your demons, but don’t feed them—they’re insatiable and will devour you with their sharp little teeth if you let them.

When I’m creating my tarot deck, if I’m struggling with a card, I’ll skip it. I trust that I’m not ready for their lesson or message yet. But with The Hermit, I felt the need to push through, because the hermit is the tarot archetype for 2025.

This isn’t a creative choice, it’s numerology: The Hermit card stands at number nine in tarot, and 2025 adds up to nine.
2 + 0 + 2 + 5 = 9.

Next year, we will be asked to embrace solitude and reflection, while also leaning on our communities for support. It’s a tricky dance: stepping back to recharge, and stepping forward to connect.

So, how do we navigate this waltz?

The Hermit card from The Londa Tarot *my favorite deck*

Nine Ways to Thrive as a Hermit in Solitude

1. Schedule Isolation.
Block out regular time to be alone. Not alone with your phone. Not alone with the tv on. Alone alone. When no one is in the room with you. When no one is watching, that’s who you truly are. It can be frightening to just sit with ourselves without distraction, and hold space for whatever comes up. But there is a version of us that always has the answer. That always knows what to do. When you make space for your hermit, the hermit will appear.

2. Trust Your Inner Wisdom.
There is so much noise out there trying to get your attention. Ominous headlines, algorithms, tabs, notifications, tracking cookies, subscribe now, save for later, this is what you need to know, comment now for a DM. Your focus is your currency. The Hermit must trust his inner wisdom and use his inner compass to find his way. Think about how you can reduce the storms of noise that rain upon you everyday. For me, that looks like avoiding social media in the morning, task-blocking my day, and working to ambient music.

3. Keep Your Lantern Lit.
I like to shine bright. And in order to do that, I need to tend to my light first. For me, keeping my lantern lit means collaging, journaling, interior design, hiking and gardening. Those are the things that light me up. I also practice EFT tapping in the morning, and I check in with my five-year-old self. I keep a picture of her on my desk, to remind myself of who I’m living my biggest, sparkliest life for, and so I can have gentle and loving compassion for myself. I would be way too judgemental if I picked the 24 year old version of me. When I gently ask the five year old me what she needs, it’s usually a cup of tea, a long walk, some time in the Monster Garden, a reading break or a bubble bath. She never asks to slam tequila shots, doom scroll, or go impulse shopping. The 24 year old version of me would, so pick the version of you that will serve you the best to keep your lantern lit.

5 Year Old Me

4. Connect in Small Ways.
I don’t have the capacity for big gatherings this year, but I connect through holiday cards. Writing a letter to friends and family gives me a moment to sit with my feelings for them, and then I share it. Try to find small ways to connect with the people in your life. If snail mail is not your thing, it could be a text. I love random audio messages. You can share a recipe, a tv show you’re loving, or a photo of what you’re doing or looking at at the moment. It doesn’t need to be big, but small gestures can travel far.

5. Don’t Forget Your Cloak.
I don’t leave my house often, but when I do, there’s so much delight to witness—moments of serendipity waiting to shower me with magic. The music playing in a coffee shop, watching people connect, meeting dogs having the best walk of their lives, the smell of a superbloom, or falling in love with someone’s outfit.

Life is a lot, and it can feel overwhelming, so you’ll need a cloak. The Hermit wears his cloak to protect himself emotionally and spiritually. My cloak is like an intuitive alarm, signaling when my battery is overstimulated and running low. Like my five-year-old self, I know when I need a timeout to recharge. I also have CBD and lavender spray with me wherever I go. Take a moment to figure out what your cloak looks like—it’s essential to protect your light while exploring the magic of the world around you.

6. Lean On Your Staff.
At any given time, everyone you meet is navigating and scaling their own mountain. Our mountains represent our personal lives—each unique, with climbs that vary in challenge and pace. The stage you’re at in your journey isn’t about age; it’s about courage and resilience.

Be courageous. Walk tall and carry your staff. The word "staff" or "staef" originates from Old English, referring to a stick or rod for support. Over time, the term grew to describe a group of people working together, like the staff of an organization.

Think of your staff as the people in your network—the ones you reach out to when you have exciting news to share or when you’re feeling stressed and need support. Lean on them when your journey feels heavy, and remember that even the strongest climbers benefit from a steadying hand.

7. Notice When You’ve Grown a Beard.
I have grown way too many beards this year. The downside to enjoying your own company and getting lost in introspection is you can go too far down that path and lose sight of what’s happening in daily life. Luckily, my partner notices when I’ve been hermiting too long and nudges me out of the house. When the hermit card is reversed, there is warning of cutting yourself off from others. There is also danger in sitting with your own viewpoint for the whole journey. Using our inner compass to guide us is so important, but we also need to be open to other ways of potentially getting up our mountain. There are tools that other people have that could be useful.

8. Share Your Gifts.
What you learn in solitude is meant to be shared. The Hermit’s lantern isn’t just for him; it lights the way for others. On your climb, you have unearthed emeralds and amethysts from your experience. Think of how you want to share them. I share them through this newsletter and through collage, and it brings me so much joy. It keeps my lantern lit.

9. Keep Moving.
The most important thing is the journey. One step at a time, always forward. We keep thinking there is this one destination. Emerald Island for example, but as soon as you get to Emerald Island, Ruby Cove is on the horizon. Instead of just focusing on the destination, stop to look at the view. Look at the canopy of tree tops, swaying like a bed of broccoli. Inhale the crisp, cool air, filling your body with oxygen and fortitude. Wrap your cloak around you, and rest when you’re tired. Your mountain will always be there, until it isn’t.

In Closing

Schedule regular time with yourself for reflection and guidance. Trust yourself, you know the way. Keep your lantern lit, and notice when you’re low on kerosene. Always carry your cloak. Lean on your staff for support. Be mindful of when your beard is getting too long. Share your emeralds and amethysts with the world and keep going.

What gems have you unearthed on your journey? Drop them in the comments—I’d love to hear.

Safe travels, my friends. See you next week.

✨💜✨